To the Crane Fly in my bathroom

Crane Fly,
I don't mind your harmless flutter
across my bathroom tiles.
another living thing in my apartment 
actually brings me some comfort.
but you need to stop flying straight at my penis,
every time I try to urinate.
it is impolite.
and completely unacceptable.
and although I know you pose no actual threat to my genitalia,
I don't want you landing on it.
when you try to, I freak out,
and pee all over the place.
and throughout time men have never hesitated to kill others who threatened their manhood. 
I imagine millions of human lives have been lost because of dicks. 
I have no respect for that. 
thou shalt not kill.
there's no penis clause.
but let this serve as a final warning,
because you are a guest in my house,
and you only continue exist,
because I allow it.
so stay the hell away form me,
when my penis is exposed,
and I am vulnerable,
or my survival instincts will end you.